Grieving The Death Of A Parent

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At some point in our lives we will all have argued with out parents. Do not let this belittle your grief. They loved you and you loved them, an unconditional love which is only found in close family relationships. The closer you were to your parent the more often you will think of them on a daily basis. However, if you were less close you are still entitles to grieve however you need to.


It's common for family to disagree over funeral arrangements and argue over the will. Remaining parents, including stepparents, may try to compensate for the loss of one parent by over parenting. While this can be somewhat overbearing try to remember that they will be feeling lonely, distraught and probably also be contemplating their own mortality. During this time you can feel both lonely and suffocated by people trying to support you and lean on you for support. Try to find a moment to yourself and think about the loved one you have lost; grieve however you need to.

Your own mortality

`When will I die?' `Will it be in the same way as my dad?' `Am I ready?' Do not fight these questions, instead try to accept that even though this is an inconvenient time for these thoughts it is natural to be feeling this way. Other people around you will be having these same thoughts, if you feel it will help you to talk about these thoughts then approach the subject tactfully with a family member. Understand if they are not ready or able to discuss these feelings at this time; try to be patient with them. If you do not wish to talk about these feelings, take a moment to sit with these thoughts; do not fight them but rather learn to accept them. Self-help books on the topic of bereavement may help you in dealing with your loss; If There's Anything I Can Do: How to Help Someone Who Has Been Bereaved by Caroline Doughty could be a good choice as it will help you deal with your grief while supporting those around you.

Losing a parent will often change your role in the family. You may feel that you have become the one to look up to, rather than the one to be looked after. A new position in your family will take time to adjust to, do not try to rush it and accept that you will not be able to fit perfectly in to your parent's shoes.

About the Author:

Steve Phillips is an author on the subject of coping with bereavement and dealing with death. He has a degree from the University of Cambridge in England and has wide experience of the challenges facing us in our personal lives.

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